‘You’ve just got to be more positive!’
How many times have you heard or read that statement?
But what if you simply don’t feel positive? What then? What if you actually feel so not positive that everything just seems too hard?
Can you really just be more positive?
What does it mean to be more positive?
According to the Cambridge Dictionary, positive is an adjective which is defined as:
Hmm. Some days I just don’t feel it, do you?
But is positivity something you can trick yourself into having? Can you actually trick your brain into positive thinking?
Or can you just be more positive?
Ways to Be More Positive Today
There are ways through which we can increase our positivity. Here are some tips to be more positive:
Take the time to actually stop and think about the thoughts and feelings you are experiencing. All too often we are rushing through our day, or thinking about the next thing to do, the next meeting we have, our shopping list, our ever-increasing to-do lists….
STOP! Think. Acknowledge. Process.
What are you feeling? Why are you feeling it? Take time to actually be in that moment and feel what you are feeling. Give yourself that permission.
Stop Negative Thinking
Identifying your feelings and recognising them allows you to move onto the next step.
We can experience a feeling but we do not need to become that feeling. The problem with negative thinking is that it becomes a helter-skelter spiral that sees us plummeting down with no end in sight.
By becoming more aware of our feelings (see Be Aware above) we can catch our negative thoughts and stop them before they snowball. Techniques you can use include when you become aware of negative thoughts occurring are saying the word STOP! out loud.
Visualisation techniques also help. For example, I like to imagine putting negative thoughts into a balloon, blow it up, then let it go so that it farts through the air spinning and disappearing into the distance….
Focus on the Good
So many times we get so caught up in the bad that we overlook the good. We can find good in almost anything; the fact we woke up this morning and have the opportunity to do something – anything – today is a pretty big one.
Is the sun shining?
Does your morning cup of coffee taste especially good today?
Did a friend send you a text which shows they’re thinking of you?
Do you have the internet and some kind of gadget that you can read blogs like this on?
Where can you find the good today? Write down three things. Go on, do it now.
Honestly, it’s so true; getting outside helps lift your spirits. Take a walk through the park or by the sea. Nature is a great healer, reducing stress, anger and fear. It reduces blood pressure and muscle tension and just makes you feel good.
Go for it.
Get out and walk.
Because it’s true – smiling makes you happy.
Smiling at other people makes them happy and other people smiling at you makes you happy.
Smiling is infectious.
Go for your walk and smile.
Take Care of Yourself
It’s difficult to feel positive about anything when you simply feel like utter shit. So take care of yourself a little bit.
Here’s the thing: taking care of yourself is not a bad thing!
It’s a very, very good thing!
Taking care of yourself is a must!
Have that long, hot bubble bath. Curl up with that book and hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows. Go for that massage. Buy yourself those flowers. Treat yourself to the facial….
LOOK AFTER YOURSELF BECAUSE FUCK IT, YOU DESERVE IT AND YOU ARE WORTH IT!
Be More Positive About Your Own Worth
Listen to the way you talk to yourself.
I don’t know about you but my inner critic is a total bitch. She is the queen of queen bitches. She needs to fuck the fuck off.
Would you ever speak to anyone else the way you speak to yourself? Would you say the things you do, the criticisms you make?
Be your own best friend, your own parent, your own loving, nurturing safe person whose lap you can climb up onto and whose arms you can curl into and tell yourself all the good, loving, warm things about yourself.
Stick your inner critic in that balloon and let it fart fly into outer space.
You’re amazing. Don’t ever forget that.